Published in Fanfare·PinnedShit From Five Christmas Shows That Would Never Fly TodayQuick! Someone call CPS! — I was watching Rudolph with my nine-year-old grandson the other day. He didn’t get why Rudolph’s mom and girlfriend weren’t allowed to join in the search for Rudolph after he snapped from relentless assholery and bolted. He had no concept of what Donner meant by “man’s work.” I must be…Humor5 min read
Published in Rock n’Heavy·PinnedFive Probably Best Forgotten Seventies Love SongsI apologize in advance — Heavy on the cheese, please. Yeah, these songs have probably been forgotten for a reason. Yikes. But I’m gonna bring this shit back, wearing a stick pin in my cowl neck sweater and reeking of Love’s Baby Soft. Because I love you guys and want you to share my Engelbert…Music5 min read
Published in Rock n’Heavy·PinnedFive Unpopular Music OpinionsPlease don’t hurt me — Obviously, musical taste is highly subjective, and my opinion is just that — my opinion. Now read on to see why my opinion is the only correct one. See what I did there? Right then. We’re off! The Rolling Stones kinda suck liveMusic4 min read
PinnedThe Catholic Girls Start Much Too LateDenim leads to the road of prostitution — Well, they showed you a statue, told you to pray They built you a temple and locked you away Aw, but they never told you the price that you pay For things that you might have done Only the good die young Two images spring to mind when most…Humor5 min read
Published in Rock n’Heavy·11 hours agoSeven Sucksational Ballads From The 80sOh, the humanity! — The 80s produced some of the best ballads of all time. Stevie Wonder’s “Overjoyed” and Whitney Houston’s “Didn't We Almost Have It All” immediately spring to mind because they were just on my playlist, but there were many, many others. The 80s were lousy with beautiful love songs. The 80s…Music5 min read
4 days agoThere Is No Middle Ground on AbortionAnd if you think there is, you don't understand bodily sovereignty — I just saw someone on Medium, a woman no less, proclaiming we need a “middle ground” compromise between pro-choice and anti-choice people. This writer asserted both sides are in the wrong, and she's annoyed with both. Poor sweet baby. Then I had to stop reading, as I had hit my…Politics3 min read
Jun 27I Was Sure We’d Be Sure By NowNow I’m not so sure about that — Life in the United States is surreal. When you think we've reached the nadir, the bottom of the barrel, that one thing that will surely spur everyone to action … it doesn't. At least not in any meaningful way. Pink pussy hat performative protests are beyond useless, people. To American…Politics3 min read
Jun 25Heaven Must Have Sent YouI hope they accept returns — It’s heaven in your arms It’s the sweetness of your charms Makes me love you more each day In your arms I wanna stay Question: Do young couples today still have a tune that's “their” song? I haven't a clue, as I'm…Love5 min read
Published in An Injustice!·Jun 21Tressie Souders and Her “Lack of Employment Opportunities”The first African-American woman filmmaker in Hollywood — During the silent film era, it was incredibly rare for an African-American of either gender to have any sort of career in the industry. Tressie Souders, however, defied cultural barriers and blatant racism by becoming the first African-American female director. Racism was so entrenched in the American culture (still is)…Racism3 min read
Published in Fanfare·Jun 17Top Three Movies Featuring Drive-InsBlame Danny Zuko — So, I wrote a story about the history of drive-in movie theaters not too long ago and absently thought about watching movies set in a drive-in at the drive-in. Because I'm deep and shit. Then I pondered different movies that featured scenes at a drive-in. I immediately decided to explore…Movies4 min read
