C’mon Democrats! Time to Unify Behind Your Frontrunner

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Power to the People, right on!

Dems — hi!

Quick question.

Didn’t you demand we unite behind the frontrunner? You know, Vote Blue No Matter Who and all that?

Yeah, you sure did!


We need to talk.

One candidate just swept the first three primaries (an unprecedented achievement)and draws Rolling Stones show-sized crowds even in the reddest of Red states. This candidate has the firm support of the People, and their campaign is going from strength to strength.

It’s beyond obvious who the Democratic frontrunner is. There’s also little doubt this trajectory will continue unabated.

Unless, of course …

the DNC once again invokes the most undemocratic of political wrecking balls — the All-Mighty Superdelegates. You know, the Dem elites who can erase thousands of votes with just one wave of their neoliberal hand.

After all, as Debbie Wasserman Schultz so memorably pointed out, you gotta have a way to squelch those pesky grassroots movements.

YUGE Grassroots movement, bitches.

(It’s so cute when you guys cry about how the Electoral College is so UNFAIR when you pull this kind of shit, but hey at least you’re consistent.)

Here’s some friendly advice going forward from here. This isn’t 2016. You won’t get away with usurping the will of the voters in favor of your corporate overlords’ desires ever, ever again.

Never. Ever.

And the world is watching.

Everyone is well-aware of your priorities, and they don’t include the best interests of the American People. You preach unity, but you’re going out of your way to sabotage your own Party’s frontrunner because he’ll end the elite gravy train.

And let’s be honest. You’d rather hand another term to the Orange Anal Wart than lose a lick of your privilege.

One other thing — is Vote Blue No Matter Who conditional? It seems like Biden (former Republican), Bloomberg(former Republican), and Buttigieg (might as well be Republican)are acceptable shades of Blue, but Bernie Blue is verboten? This is certainly the impression many of us get. I struggle with this because you lay claim to the Independent vote while crapping all over our candidate of choice.

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Ladies and Gentlemen — Democratic unity.

What in the deep-fried fuck leads you to believe Indys would cower before you and pull that lever for any ol’ asshole with a “D” behind their name? We didn’t in 2016, and we sure as shit won't do it now.

Don’t try us.

(It’s very telling that only ONE candidate running on your ticket believes that the nomination should reflect the will of the people and not the greed of the oligarchy. Hmm. Wonder who that could be.)

So, yeah, VBNMW ain’t happening, no matter how much you whine. Looks like you might have to actually do the right thing in 2020 — if you want your Party to survive anyway.

I know. It’s scary.

After all, you are about to make, or become, history.

Choose very carefully.


time to practice what you preach Democratic Party.

I wanna see your blue asses rallying behind BERNIE SANDERS — pronto.


Bernie is your Party’s frontrunner. If you really want to beat Trump, you best jump on the Bernie train. It’s the only one stopping at the Oval Office.

Try not to be the poster children for hypocrisy just this once. Your survival as a Party depends on it.

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We got your back, Bernie!

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is a political junkie and history buff randomly alternating between bouts of crankiness and amusement while bearing witness to the Apocalypse. Come along!

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