Election Commercials Make Me Hurl

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Take my money. Photo by The Rushin Perspective

Is there any greater buzzkill than the infernal bleating of endless political adverts? Especially when you’re relishing “left-over” Reeses from Halloween in front of your nice, warm T.V.? It’s right up there with the impotent rage you feel immediately after the first-grade rightful owner of said “left-over” Reeses catches you red-handed and hides his Halloween candy stash from you.

It’s unthinkably heinous in its cruelty.

At first, the constant onslaught is almost amusing because these ads have all the subtlety and finesse of a six-year-old trying to sell you on a 10 p.m. bedtime.

You know it’s B.S., hell, they know it’s B.S. But they’re going to give it their best shot anyway — loudly and incessantly — either not knowing or not caring that an endless barrage of over-dramatized half-truths and blatant manipulation tends to turn people off rather than garnering their support.

And our pain is literally amplified by the exceedingly loud volume of these commercials, especially in relation to the program you’re valiantly attempting to enjoy. It forces you to play Clicker Commando to make the necessary adjustments which is an exhausting responsibility.

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“Vote for me and the planet gets it! Wait — TAKE TWO — Vote for me OR the planet gets it!” Photo by the Daily Wire

I don’t know about you guys, but I’m getting the same ads back-to-back at times. One horrible offender here in MA is for a ballot question I wholeheartedly support. But holy crapple, the more I’m subjected to those ads, the more tempted I am to switch my vote just out of spite.

I can only imagine the effect on voters not already firmly in favor of said ballot initiative if I’m holding up garlic and a cross every time their ad runs.

To add to the multi-sensory shit-fest, most political averts are as creatively inspired as used car commercials, and that’s being kind. Third-grade school plays boast more convincing performances and Spanish-language soaps contain less overblown melodrama.

And yes, yes, budget considerations and all that, but even with limited funds it’s not necessary to be insipid at best, and complete horseshit at worst, is it?

You’re trying to win an election, right? You want to elicit a positive response? Then don’t insult the viewer’s intelligence. You’re already cutting into what they really want to watch every ten minutes with your repetitive spiel, so you’re on thin ice already. You’d better make it good, or at least bearable.

I know you need to use the media to get your message out there, but please be kind to those who will be forced to sit through said message 3846576 gazillionty times before the Big Day.

Remember, you’re trying to win us over so you can screw us over, not make us run screaming before you get the chance to do either.

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Pure marketing genius. Photo by mc today

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is a political junkie and history buff randomly alternating between bouts of crankiness and amusement while bearing witness to the Apocalypse. Come along!

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