Hate to Say We Told You So: The Hillary Edition

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ARRRRGGGGHHHH Photo by The Mirror

So, I was offline for a week(which was simultaneously freeing and unsettling) and came back to the unholy specter of Two-Time-Loser HRC spraying her funky scent all over the political landscape again. I’d like to say I’m surprised, but I’m not. The second she lost to the Orange Anal Wart many of us saw this coming.

In fact, there was little doubt that HRC would exert her evil influence on the 2020 Democratic primaries in one capacity or another.

Why, you say? Simple.

Hillsy is a malignant narcissist. There was NO WAY she was going quietly. I laughed my ass off when she announced she was retreating to the woods(fine lady, just steer clear of my neck of them) while simultaneously proclaiming herself as leader of the Pink Hat McResistance. She vowed to have us all back to brunch in a jiff, despite the humiliating spanking she took from a gelatinous orange turd.

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Photo by IMGFlip

But Clinton DID manage to orchestrate a McCarthyism sequel for anyone sentimental for some good ol’ fifties-style red-baiting. You remember, the groundless anti-Russia hysteria that tore the country apart and ruined the lives of countless innocent people.

To show those godless Commies what freedom-loving Yankees are all about, we fed all of our hungry people and provided care and comfort to the sick. Nah, just kidding — we used it as justification to add the word god to the Pledge of Allegiance and slap his name on our money.

That’ll show those Reds what we’re made of!

Hillsy is using Joe McCarthy’s playbook, secure in the knowledge that the average American doesn’t know diddly-squat about their country’s history. Support anyone who’s a threat to HRC’s establishment crime syndicate, and *poof!* you’ll find yourself dubbed a Russian asset.

All this human misery because a textbook narcissistic sociopath was denied what she considers her birthright in 2016. It’s transparent, ridiculous, and shameful.

And now Hill is “back” — not a long commute considering she never left. It’s pretty much a given that, at the very least, she’s pulling the strings controlling the Democratic Party nomination process. There’s also the very real possibility she’s preparing to enter the race herself, having had a few years to convince herself and her Pantsuit Brigade that she didn’t tank in 2016 because most American voters revile her.

Nah. Russia did it.

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Photo by Spreadshirt

And even though this absurd claim has long-since been debunked, Hillsy and her Pink Pussy Hats cling to it like a life raft in a tsunami, proving once again that those derpy hats are the dunce cap of the new millennium.

For three fucking years, we’ve endured these dim bulbs admonishing us to leave poor Hillary alone — she was no longer running for office, making her irrelevant in American politics, and we were big meanie-weenie-heads for not remaining silent regarding her decades of criminal duplicity.

“She’s done with politics! We know because she told us so! Hillary’s home reading empowering feminist literature to the grandkids and baking saltpeter cookies for Bill! Leave her alone, Russian Troll!”

Not-so-ironically, these are the same putzes who think Clinton lost due to Russian Meddling and that America was super-awesome until Trump waddled his doughy ass into the Oval Office. Their biggest achievement is elevating selective credulousness to an art form.

I think a lot of the Pant Suit Brigade ignores the fact that Hillary Clinton quite literally owns the DNC. As many of you may recall, the Democratic Party went broke making sure Mister Hope and Change got a second term, leaving them skint coming into the 2016 election.

But, luckily for them, a kind benefactor stepped in to save the day, asking nothing in return — aside from total control of the Party. It’s not metaphorical when we say HRC bought the DNC, because that's precisely what she did.

The Democrats made a deal with the Devil that we all are still paying for.

If Hillary runs again or even “just” handpicks the heir to her unattainable throne (the Soro-approved Warren, anyone?) it will spell doom for the already floundering Party.

And no great loss there.

Photo by Flickr

Written by

is a political junkie and history buff randomly alternating between bouts of crankiness and amusement while bearing witness to the Apocalypse. Come along!

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