Hell No Creepy Uncle Joe
I’m laughing, I’m crying, I’m dry-heaving.
Dude, you can’t be serious.
Are you honestly contemplating throwing your hat in the ring again? What’s this? A gazillionty times? And yet you’ve never once made it to the Oval Office aside from playing Second Banana to Barry.
Now, how can this be? Could it mean that maybe, just maybe, the American People don’t want you to be president?
Nah, surely it’s somehow the fault of the Russians, like everything else.
Just what do you think your chances are when you are so out of touch with the prevailing national mood you’ll insist the 1% isn’t to blame for our current fuster-cluckage? Why the very idea is preposterous and grossly unfair to our sacred elite class, without whom we’d never know the heady experience of poverty and despair.
Look, if you insist 500 billionaires aren't the cause of our problem, you don’t understand what the problem is. If you think millennials should “stop complaining” and your response to their struggles is “give me a break,” you’ve entered the HRC level of beneath contempt.
You suck at politics — and life — in so many ways it’s almost awe-inspiring.
