It’s happening again. The Give-a-Fuck Delivery Truck no longer stops at my house. I’m not checking the news first thing in the morning, and then every two-and-half seconds thereafter. I don’t even have the impetus to roll my eyes at pink pussy hats anymore.
I know, right? Clearly, I’ve hit critical overload.
Even if Armageddon began in earnest or Trump’s toupee flew off, I couldn’t elicit more than a disinterested grunt at this point.
I’m no stranger to Acute Political Fatigue. I’ve suffered from this malady before, and have felt this current bout coming on gradually for months (midterms are known to acerbate this condition).
I can’t say it’s entirely unpleasant — more like when you give in to that bad cold and nestle under the covers with a good book and the T.V. remote until it passes.
I’m exhibiting all the classic symptoms of APF:
- flattened effect upon reading the latest headlines
- even undeniably amusing current events are met with a dead-eyed blank stare
- nausea and vomiting.
Yep, I’ve hit the wall folks, and need to be indefinitely quarantined from the endemic derpitude infecting this country.
My current case of Acute Political Fatigue is so heinous I find myself looking around for hidden cameras or any evidence that all of this nonsense is an elaborate prank perpetrated by bored aliens just for a goof.
No such luck.
It’s so hard to fathom — and stomach — the convoluted thought process that is becoming the New American Normal. Never did I think that Dale Gribble-style conspiracy theorists would ever be considered as anything more than a joke, or that we would have serious arguments over whether the earth is round. Logic and reason used to be a thing, right? Relatively speaking at least.
Take Trump Derangement Syndrome(TDS),which usually strikes those who were politically uninvested until 2016.
Now, most Americans grasp that Trump is a mouth-breathing moron, yet they still hang on his every gooberish word and get the vapors over his pompous pronouncements that have no basis in reality (see: his ability to revoke the citizenship of naturalized Americans.)
And the cult of Shrill Hill and the Neolibs(band name!) is at least, if not more perplexing. Hillary Clinton is as trustworthy as a Nigerian prince and as likable as a three-week bout of stomach flu, and yet there are those who vehemently defend her with the most sophisticated methods of rationalization and self-delusion outside of organized religion.
Bearing witness to politically motivated schoolyard-level taunts and threats not only from the rank and file but our elected officials themselves is exhausting and disheartening on a daily basis.
Let’s face it. Acute Political Fatigue has a significant element of self-preservation attached it.
Both “sides” up the Stupid Ante daily, while our “legislators” take perverse pride in using their elected offices for nothing but pointless head games with “the enemy” and doing the bidding of their donors.
The needs and the will of The People are ignored at best and openly ridiculed at worst. ( No healthcare for you, peasants! But you’ll keep paying the tab for our Cadillac insurance plans and like it!)
I literally want to line up the drone duopoly partisans and bitch-slap them all Moe-from-the-Three Stooges style. Oh, the satisfaction hearing each sharp clap of palm meeting face.
Are you listening Santa?
And hey! I feel the desire to throttle people again! I must be on the mend.