It’s Not Always About You, Trump

Image for post
Image for post
“Stop making me look bad, jerks!” Photo by Progressive Charlestown

From this week’s You Simply Can’t Make This Shit Up files:

The Marmalade Moron is blubbering all over the internets that the victims of Hurricane Maria died just to make him look bad.

That’s what it comes down to.

The blowhard ball-bag babbled on Twitter about how the whole world revolves around him, saying:

3000 people did not die in the two hurricanes that hit Puerto Rico. When I left the Island, AFTER the storm had hit, they had anywhere from 6 to 18 deaths. As time went by it did not go up by much. Then, a long time later, they started to report really large numbers, like 3000...

He further spewed:

.....This was done by the Democrats in order to make me look as bad as possible when I was successfully raising Billions of Dollars to help rebuild Puerto Rico. If a person died for any reason, like old age, just add them onto the list. Bad politics. I love Puerto Rico!

Yeah, well, they don’t love you, chump. But thanks for the bottom-shelf paper towels. I guess that’s his idea of “rebuilding.”

Seriously. Did Barrack leave some of the really good shit in the Oval Office desk drawer? Blubber Butt probably thought it was oregano, sprinkled it on his Elio’s pizza, and here we are.

And almost as perplexing, there are some, and not all Trump fans mind you, that defend him even though he burped these tweets as another massive hurricane was headed for the Carolinas.

The apologists claim that almost all those three thousand Puerto Ricans were killed because of their incompetent and corrupt local government. Incompetent and corrupt government, yes. Local, not so much. Or, at the very least, not as much.

Or: They died after the rain stopped, so their demise doesn’t “count.”


Because I figure if your death is caused by wading through poop-infested water post-storm, you’re considered a hurricane victim. Same goes for those who perished from the island’s appallingly long stint without electricity.

All of this loss of life could’ve been prevented by aggressive intervention from their federal government.

Now, I’m the first in line to point and laugh at those with Trump Derangement Syndrome(TDS). You know, the neo-liberal Dems who blame the Marmalade Moron for everything from the torching of the Library of Alexandria to New Coke.

But this time, no matter what the (lame-ass) excuses are to justify his behavior during and after Hurricane Maria, the fact that a sitting president would publicly blame a body count in the aftermath of a catastrophic natural disaster for trying to make him look bad is unthinkable.

Or at least it was unthinkable until this ass clown belched and farted his way to Pennsylvania Ave.

And the real kicker is that no-one has to try to make that oversized orange anus look bad. There are hundreds of perfectly legitimate reasons why Trump’s a dingleberry in human form.

He does all the work for us. Every day. Really takes the sport out of it.

And I love to slam the Democrats too buddy, but much like you, they self- generate enough mega-derp to render hyperbole unnecessary.

Even if your self-absorption liberally sprinkled with paranoia leads to you believe the Democrats have politicized the death toll in Puerto Rico to use against you, downplaying the lives lost and the suffering of the survivors is behavior ill-suited for a Commander-in-Chief.

This isn’t about your widdle feelings, it’s about the dignity of your Office, which you have damaged beyond repair for your predecessors by not only ignoring the scope of human misery occurring in Puerto Rico but flat-out denying it.

And anyway, you should still be sending the DNC weekly “thank-you” fruit baskets for nominating HRC and ensuring your victory by our old friend lesser-evilism.

It isn’t always about you, Trump. Believe it or not, events occur without the express purpose of affecting your precious self directly.

Written by

is a political junkie and history buff randomly alternating between bouts of crankiness and amusement while bearing witness to the Apocalypse. Come along!

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store