Lizzie’s Losing it in More Ways Than One: Warren WTF Moment # 245728

Hope Bernie’s had his cootie vax. Photo by the Boston Globe

Hello, gentle reader.

Let’s just cut to the chase.

In case you've been vacationing on Saturn the past couple of days, the internet is inundated with tales of “leaked” volunteer scripts from Bernie’s campaign. It’s alleged that Warren and most of her constituency are educated and affluent (No way! I thought they all worked at Walmart!)

So what, right?

Here’s the rub: Warren’s camp purports that Bernie’s volunteers are instructed to drive this point home when talking to prospective voters. The story quickly began doing the rounds thanks to the usual pro-neolib news outlets, and within milliseconds Warren’s premeditated hissy fit was all over news feeds.

Bleeeeeeech.

Let’s be serious. There isn’t any “feud” between Warren and Sanders, no matter how hard Warren and the media try to spin it that way. What we do have is a desperate Warren trying to garner sympathy(and money)because Bernie Sanders was a big meanie to her.

Except, you know, that he wasn’t.

So what to do?

Despite all her beer-swilling, Hula-dancing, and Ponds cold cream slathering, Warren is sinking like a stone going into Iowa.

But Liz has a plan for that!

1. Nurture a persecution complex and start spouting groundless accusations.
2. Warble how disappointed you are about the aforementioned (non)-event.
3. And tie the whole gaslighting package up as a battle cry for unity, so everyone can marvel at your bravery in the face of such (non)-criticism.

Worked great for Hillary! (giggle)

Anyway, here’s Warren acting over-the-top maudlin. Be sure to bring tissues and your tiniest violins, peasants.