More Shit Neolibs Say: The Democrat to Progressive Translator Part Duh

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No lies detected. Photo by The Commoner Call

Ah, neoliberal third-way Democrats and their Fauxgressive bandwagon jumpers. You never cease to amaze, amuse, and disgust. Do you know why I write pieces like this? Because it’s easier than actually engaging you in real-time. That’s nothing but a blood pressure-raising time-suck.

Shall we plunge the depths of neoliberal derp together? C’mon, let’s have a go.

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Who’s the what now?

I just can’t with this shit.

Seriously, how privileged, never mind clueless, must one be to say this with a straight face? How completely devoid of political savvy are the Blue Team to actually believe this? Have they no historical perspective whatsoever?

I think we already know the answer to that. Very, Entirely, and Zilch.

Look. The Pink Hats and the Man Buns Who Love Them only want One Thing: Brunch. They don’t care about policy. They don’t care that millions of Americans are without healthcare during a global pandemic. They don't care that more and more Americans are driven from their homes DAILY thanks to the greed of a few old white men. They don’t care that we have to act NOW if we don’t want our children and grandchildren to die in a mass extinction event.


All they care about is getting zapped “Men in Black” style so they can return to the worry-free existence of their mid-level management gig, yearly trip to Cabo, and home gym. It matters not that the most vulnerable Americans — and that’s most of us — will fare equally shittily no matter who wins the Battle of the Cognitively Challenged Pervs.

Following that trail of blue breadcrumbs leads to far worse than “more of the same” for most Americans. We can’t pretend that the Blue fascist is any better than the Red fascist.

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Yeah. Not with Biden. Photo by imgur

Oh, do tell.

This might be the most delusional talking point in an election year teeming with delusional talking points.

Biden’s not moving left. The Democrats are moving you to the right, and you're not just letting them — you’re helping them. Why? If you can’t get Biden to make concessions before the election, what in the deep-fried fuck makes you believe he’ll do so if he manages to beat the Orange Anal Wart?

Think about it for, like, three seconds. What incentive would Biden have to adopt Progressive policies after the election that he doesn't have now? You know, while he’s trying to win your vote? Did you guys pinky swear or some shit?

C’mon. Ain’t happening. Neoliberals and Fauxgressives only buy this garbage because it’s easier than accepting that 8–12 more years of neoliberal austerity is far worse than four more of the Tangerine Man Baby. Because Trump bad, Democrats good, they insist, with no receipts to back that claim up. If you don’t believe Trump is Satan Incarnate, you are obviously a Republican or a Russian bot, or a —

Blah blah blah, whatever Neolib.

People who believe this are so stupid they make my molars ache.

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Can you believe this isn't satire? I can’t. It’s from Biden’s campaign. Really.

Yeah, about that. Just how the fuck do you figure?

A vote for Biden is a vote for Biden. A Vote for Howie is a Vote for Howie(or, more accurately, the Green Party platform.) A write-in for Bernie is a write-in for Bernie. A vote for the Libertarians is a vote for the Libertarians. Not voting is a vote for no-one. Et cetera and so on. You get the idea.

It is the height of neoliberal arrogance to tell grown-ass adults that they are “wasting their vote.” This is called gaslighting, kids, and it’s very naughty.

Really though. Who the hell are you to make that call for anyone aside from yourself? If you actually voted policy instead of party, you’d understand that. Rejecting the GOP does not make one a Democrat by Default. I know this is a struggle for the Blue Team, but the Give-a-Fuck delivery truck missed my house today, and I’m not even mad.

Establishment Dems struggle with seeing outside their little neoliberal bubble, where it’s just them (the “good” guys) and the GOP (the “bad” guys) duking it out for what's left of America’s spoils. Don’t tell me you don't have a choice. That’s cowardice on an epic scale and entirely untrue. There are many other candidates on the ballot aside from the Doddering Dipshits.

Or you can not participate at all, because our votes don't mean diddly. Sorry. They don't. Your vote may sway local elections — maybe. But Presidential elections — no freaking way. If you're a fan of living theater and recognize it as such, it could be fun, I guess. But it won’t do a damn thing to correct this sorry state of affairs that's been half a century (give or take) in the making. Not four years. Fifty. If you think getting rid of Trump is the solution, you don't understand the problem.

Please, pick up a history book before you kill us all.

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Boo! Sorry. That was unnecessarily harsh. Photo by the Mirror.

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is a political junkie and history buff randomly alternating between bouts of crankiness and amusement while bearing witness to the Apocalypse. Come along!

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