Member-only story
My Favorite Beauty Products from the Late 1970s
Maybe she’s born with it. Maybe it’s cheap drugstore cosmetics.
I owned so many of these products I should kick my own ass, but hey, I was a product of my time. And we really did have the best shampoo ever.
So sit on it and up your nose with a rubber hose.
Kissing Potion Lip Gloss
I swear my first boyfriend is still wiping this gooey mess off his mug. It tasted so good I often used it as a meal replacement so I could smoke during my lunch break. But take care on windy days, ladies. If you get your hair caught in this quagmire of gloppy, gloopy chemicals, grease was definitely the word.
Shampoo Galore
If you’re an aged hag-bag like me, you probably remember every single one of these classic shampoos. The one on the left, Faberge Organics, was my preferred brand. It made my hair soft and bouncy so I could sizzle the shit out of it with a blow drier and curling iron to get that perfect Farrah flip.
My mother made me get a Dorothy Hammill haircut, which I despised with the fury of a million suns. She figured she’d soften the blow by presenting me with Short and Sassy shampoo. Yeah. Whoopie.
I immediately started growing my hair back.
Love’s Baby Soft
Ugh. Revolting.
I was about the same age as Pretty Baby here and already knew that was some creepy-ass bullshit. I didn't really know why it skeezed me out so bad, because shit like that was pretty ordinary at that time. Movies and music were lousy with underage girls.
Love’s Baby Soft was almost every girl’s first foray into the world of fragrance. There was a massive cloud of it hanging over the planet for many years…
