Preemptive Surrender: “I Love Bernie, But I’ll Vote for the Eventual Democratic Nominee No Matter How Hard They Suck”

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Ugh. I can’t even with this. I know I say that a lot, but this mindset truly angers me. It’s unforgivable ignorance and cowardice wrapped up in one neat little self-absorbed package.

If you can’t see why proclaiming you’ll VBNMW is waving the white flag of surrender even before the battle is fought, you have no business going within a hundred miles of a voting booth.

Maybe you can afford to eschew Medicare for All, a livable minimum wage, and protecting Social Security, but the bulk of your fellow citizens do not have that luxury. People in the wealthiest nation the world are dying every damn day at the hands of runaway capitalism. This is not opinion, it’s a cold hard fact. Your loyalty to a corrupt system over their lives makes you a reprehensible asshole, not the patriot you try to paint yourself as.

C’mon. Do you really believe vowing to support whatever establishment empty suit the DNC thrusts on you will in any way improve the lives of average Americans? All you are doing is driving the point home that you are malleable, unthinking drones who will do exactly what you are told.

Another corporate neolib? Sure! Photo by

When push comes to shove, you’ll fold like a house of cards and do the bidding of the oligarchy like good little serfs. This is not Progressive behavior. If your political philosophy includes no-questions-asked party loyalty, do NOT call yourself a Progressive. You are an unethical Establishment Enabler.

How do they know this? You’re posting it proudly on social media every fucking day like it makes you some sort of pragmatic patriot. No, it makes you an insufferable idiot. Learn the difference.

You are not helping anyone or anything by openly conceding the race before it’s been run. All you are doing is protecting and perpetuating the system that is screwing us in the first place. Not smart, or even sane behavior at this crucial juncture in our history.

But … TRUMP! Photo by

And before you spout the “Bernie will VBNMW!” nonsense remember this: like every other candidate running on the Democratic ticket, Sanders was obligated to agree in writing to support the eventual nominee.

I’m not bound by these constrictions. Neither are you. Bernie will do what Bernie has to do. As will I. As should you.

Look beyond this single election. See beyond yourself and your luck-of-the-draw privilege that allows you to dare to be stupid every two-to-four years. The only difference between you and that homeless person you pretend not to see is chance. Be humbled by your good fortune. It’s not yours by virtue of “hard work,” and if it is, odds are it’s someone else’s hard work you're benefitting from.

You’ve been lucky, but you're not exalted. You are no more worthy than the next person, no matter their circumstances. Embrace your blessings humbly and share them with others.

If nothing changes, nothing changes. Be brave enough to hold your ground. Have the guts to stand by your convictions, no matter who challenges them. If you don’t, history, and your descendants (if any manage to survive) will judge you with well-deserved scorn and contempt.

P.S. — feel free to address any criticism or justifications for your derpy dipshittery to that brick wall waaaaaay over yonder. I’m not fluent in Fuckwit, and they don’t have a Rosetta Stone course for it.

Knock yourself out Blue Dog. Photo by iStock

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is a political junkie and history buff randomly alternating between bouts of crankiness and amusement while bearing witness to the Apocalypse. Come along!

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