Recreational Outrage: The NIKE Edition

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And stop acting like weenies. Photo by NBC.sports.com

By now you may have heard that Colin “Take-a-Knee” Kaepernick has been named one of the new athletes joining NIKE’S ever-popular “Just Do It” campaign. Great call, because who better embodies the spirit of that slogan?

Obviously, this is not sitting well with everyone. NASCAR Cletus is pitching a major bitch, as is Unapologetic Bigot and Donnie’s Dickhead Derpmeister. Super-Duper Social Justice Warrior is also mid-snit, but for very different reasons which we will touch on shortly.

Not surprisingly, the majority of those outraged are mainly male, mainly white, and mainly frothing-at-the-mouth racist. “This peaceful, principled black man offends my tender sensibilities. I simply can’t bear that most people don’t hate him as much as I do!”

Clearly, action on the part of conservatives had to be taken. Not because NIKE’s products are manufactured in sweatshops that make a Dickens novel look like a day spa, but rather HOW DARE THAT BLACK DUDE EXERCISE HIS FIRST AMENDMENT RIGHTS?

So they’ve started mauling their NIKE apparel, sometimes while still wearing it. “Did you hear the one about the doofus who burned his NIKE sneakers but forgot to remove them first?” sadly does not have a punchline. It happened. It actually happened.

That’s some goofy shit right there, but then again this is the crowd that thinks their degree in Ball Scratching from Trump University qualifies them to debate politics.

Destroying our own stuff. That’ll learn ‘em!

Hate to break it to you guys, but burning a stinky sock that’s been in your drawer for three years doesn’t really pack much “oomph” statement-wise.

I’ve wondered what thought process is behind this type of reasoning but quickly realized there is no thought process involved in this equation. It’s a knee-jerk response with all the self-awareness of a ball bug getting poked with a stick.

And then, we also have the over-thinkers, the Captain Bring-Downs, the Kill-joy Joy-killers. These are the aforementioned Super-Duper Social Justice Warriors, and they are quite put out that you’re willing to buy merchandise made by oppressed Chinese children.

I don't know about you, but I have to wonder where they shop and still manage to avoid this awful state of affairs entirely. No-one ever has an answer for that. But yes, you are so much better than the rest of us, we know.

So, Super-Duper Social Justice Warrior — when are you ditching your cellphone? Your computer? Your Chuck Taylors? And, let’s face it, most of your other possessions to boot? Be honest. And realistic.

Dangerous and unfair labor practices are an evil that can’t be overlooked. No-one disputes that. It’s a horrific violation of human rights and its abolition must be a top priority of all our global leaders.

But Jeez Louise, anything coming out of our news feeds that’s even remotely uplifting these days is as rare as unicorn poop.

The joyous amusement derived from watching a sea of MAGA hats trash their own stuff is a shining beacon of awesome in a dreary world. Seeing Colin Kaepernick getting some positive recognition also doesn’t suck.

Do we always have to drown out the joy with well-meaning but self-righteous negative commentary when it does come around?

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At least this clown remembered Rule #1: Remove shoes prior to “torching” Photo by pedestrianTV

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is a political junkie and history buff randomly alternating between bouts of crankiness and amusement while bearing witness to the Apocalypse. Come along!

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