No Dice, Kamala. I Still Don’t Like You In That Way

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No. Nopers. Hell no. Photo by CNN.

You know, in the way that would compel me to vote for you, in any capacity. I refused to consider you as a presidential contender, and I’m no more enthused about you as Creepy Joe’s second banana.

It’ll never, ever happen, girl. The chemistry just isn’t there. You’ve been neo-lib zoned baby. It’s like the friend zone, only with pink pussy hats and man buns.

Why, you ask?

Well, for starters, the way you use innocent human lives to advance your career is a complete abomination. When Progressives (you claim to be one, which is knee-slappingly funny) called for criminal justice reform during your tenure as a D.A. and A.G., you resisted like a three-year-old at bedtime. OR you remained mum, depending on the situation and what you stood to lose or gain.

Gotta keep those for-profit prisons making moolah by ensuring enough warm bodies were ensconced within. Whether your prisoners were guilty or innocent was irrelevant in the face of corporate gain.

For that alone, you are unworthy of the V.P. slot. But hey, you’ve got a vag and darkish complexion, two factors that leave neoliberal hearts all aflutter.

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Pink pussy hats as far as the eye can see. Photo by

And there is, of course, this:

Please tell me how this, in any way, benefits parents working two jobs to support their families. I’ll help you out here, Mocha Hillary. It doesn’t. Sure helps the for-profit prison industry though, doesn’t it?

Yes. Let’s punish the poor some more, especially people of color. After all, some are still not incarcerated.

And yet, when you were hoping for the Top Spot, you bounced around the country spouting Bernie Sanders’ platform like it was your own, claiming to hold positions that your actions prove are a crock of shit.

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Gee your hair smells terrific, little lady. Photo by New York Post

In all fairness, you were hardly the only occupant of the DNC 2020 candidate clown car to do so. But that doesn’t make you suck any less. You all suck. But you’re a cop, so you suck more.

Those obsessed with identity politics adore the Progressive agenda — when it’s touted by a black(ish) woman. Even if they’re nipped from the platform of an old white dude who’s done more for the cause of justice before breakfast than you’ve done your entire career.

Choosing a cop, a freaking COP, amid our current ACAB climate, is insensitive and tone-deaf a gazillionty different ways, but it’s also completely insane. Then again, when has the DNC ever considered the needs of the American People? Or been sane?

(Don’t bother. I already know.)

And for anyone thinking this is too much fuss for V.P. pick, bear in mind Biden is a few crayons short of a box and that's only going to get worse. It’s almost a certainty that Biden’s V.P. will end up taking the reins sooner rather than later.

And hey, if Biden thinks her hair smells good. She's a shoo-in.

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is a political junkie and history buff randomly alternating between bouts of crankiness and amusement while bearing witness to the Apocalypse. Come along!

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