No Dice, Kamala. I Still Don’t Like You In That Way

Kathy Copeland Padden
4 min readAug 11, 2020
No. Nopers. Hell no. Photo by CNN.

You know, in the way that would compel me to vote for you, in any capacity. I refused to consider you as a presidential contender, and I’m no more enthused about you as Creepy Joe’s second banana.

It’ll never, ever happen, girl. The chemistry just isn’t there. You’ve been neo-lib zoned baby. It’s like the friend zone, only with pink pussy hats and man buns.

Why, you ask?

Well, for starters, the way you use innocent human lives to advance your career is a complete abomination. When Progressives (you claim to be one, which is knee-slappingly funny) called for criminal justice reform during your tenure as a D.A. and A.G., you resisted like a three-year-old at bedtime. OR you remained mum, depending on the situation and what you stood to lose or gain.

You fought like Braveheart to uphold wrongful convictions obtained by false testimony and evidence tampering. Justice was (and is) a completely foreign concept to you.

Gotta keep those for-profit prisons making moolah by ensuring enough warm bodies were ensconced within. Whether your prisoners were guilty or innocent was irrelevant in the face of corporate gain.

For that alone, you are unworthy of the V.P. slot. But hey, you’ve got a vag and darkish complexion, two factors that leave neoliberal hearts all aflutter.

Pink pussy hats as far as the eye can see. Photo by

And there is, of course, this:

“I believe a child going without an education is tantamount to a crime, so I decided I was going to start prosecuting parents for truancy.” (via Washington Post 3/29/19)

Please tell me how this, in any way, benefits parents working two jobs to support their families. I’ll help you out here, Mocha Hillary. It doesn’t. Sure helps the for-profit prison industry though, doesn’t it?



Kathy Copeland Padden

is a music fanatic, classic film aficionado, and history buff surfing the End Times wave like a boss. Come along!