Spoiler Alert: Don’t Search Your Old Teenage Boyfriend on Social Media

Damn, you’re a dope, Kathleen. You’re both fucking old.

OK guys, I just did something really fucking dumb. Like shatter-all-your -cherished-youthful-illusions really fucking dumb. Like, what in the deep-fried fuck are you doing, because that’s some derptastic dumbassery right there dumb.

What can I say? Dumb things happen when I get bored. It’s so spot-on I may use that as the title of my memoirs.