Stupid Things I Believed Two Years Ago

July 2016 was a very tough time for many left-leaning Americans. Once the Democratic National convention was over, it wasn’t lost on anyone just how corrupt the inner workings of the DNC really were. It was a bleak, nightmarish time for anyone grappling with anxiety over the ultimate fate of this nation.

Naturally, as betrayed or disenfranchised voters we were angry, disappointed and horrified, but we all agreed to trudge on because this isn’t just about an election, it’s about a movement. Remember Bernie’s “Not Me. Us” slogan?

It can only get better, right? (That’s one stupid thing I believed two years ago.)

The DNC primaries in 2016 were an embarrassing travesty of democracy. Even the Bluest of Blue Wavers can’t defend their party’s actions beyond an antagonistic, “well, the Democratic Party IS a private organization. They can do what they want.” (Not with my time and money buddy. You done lost your mind.)

So, logic would dictate that after watching their candidate lose to a semi-illiterate game show host the Democrats would face the inevitable and reevaluate their ever-losing position. The reign of the Democratic Neo-lib was over, as happens to all political movements and organizations eventually.

Time to embrace the Progressive values which defined the Democratic Party, before the Clintons arrived with their merry band of Limousine Liberals.

And of course, the establishment Democrats will come to understand they must embrace the left-wing of their party and go beyond their comfort zone to woo the hugely influential Independent vote.

And the DNC will try to make amends with Senator Sanders. That guy’s a rock star. They’ll wise up and be grateful he’ll join forces with the Democratic PartyParty as a candidate and in Congress.

After all, in the end they want to win elections. They will do whatever it takes to beat the GOP. So it stands to reason that common sense will prevail (another stupid thing I believed two years ago).

Well, all this madness ensures the Progressives and the Left will come together and form a strong coalition based on our shared values and goals. While we’ll concede that staging a hostile takeover of the Democratic Party sounds delightful so let’s do that, we also agree that forming and supporting third parties is also necessary. After all, getting Progressives in office is what’s important, not the route we take to get there.

There’s room for everybody, right? (What’s that — three? Three stupid things. *laughs like the Count on Sesame Street*.)

Anyway, Trump will be an ineffectual figurehead just parroting the words of his top advisors who have a better grasp of How To Do President Stuff. The GOP isn’t going to allow this uncouth POS to sully their sainted Party.

The porn star wife is quite possibly the deal breaker. Those churchy Republicans will never tolerate that sort of impropriety in the White House. (After all, Michele Obama was chastised by the GOP for wearing a sleeveless dress ffs!)

If Trump got elected, they’d probably impeach him themselves. (Four stupid things I believed two years ago!)

And, if the Marmalade Moron even attempts to go all Hitler-y, people will hit the streets in droves. We’ll protest his bad policy and not his bad business deals or penchant for hookers, knowing it’s the best plan in the long run. (That’s five and probably the stupidest yet.)

And hey, whoa —hold up Democrats, what’s this Russia crap you’re trying to sell? We’re blaming Russia for the content of HRC’s emails? Why? They didn’t write them. Hillary did. Nice try Pant Suit Brigade. This is the new millennium, not the 50’s, or even the 80’s. Screaming “The Russians Did It!” isn’t going to get you anything but ridicule. No-one with two firing brain neurons is going to buy it. (Yeah, yeah, I know. Unbelievably, People are buying it. And then there were six.)

And, just like that, the very last of my goofy, optimistic hopefulness was smashed into a gazillionty jaded little pieces.

Now it’s two years later, and the Democratic Party is doubling down on all the policies that inspired Dem-Exit like campaign finance reform (no) and super-delegates(yes), while pointing fingers at everyone but themselves for their loss to Trump. It was you Berners! You Greenies! You Socialists!

You have to vote Democrat– we’re the only ones with a chance of beating Trump!

That may be so, but how does that make your Party suck any less? It doesn’t.

The actions of the Democratic Party in recent weeks speak for itself. You still believe the People owe you loyalty as you consistently ignore their will by sabotaging popular Progressive candidates running this fall.

Bottom line? You’d rather have the GOP in control than allow Progressives to rejuvenate the country.

That’s beyond political nastiness. That’s fucking personal. As in “We Are Taking All of You Down With Us and Our Party” personal.

But what do you gain in the end?