Super-Efficient Democrats Throw the 2020 Election Two Years Early

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Bernie would have won, bitches. Photo by

The DNC has already clinched their defeat in 2020 with the much-touted, intelligence-insulting “upgrades” for their decidedly undemocratic primary process. Instead of smoothing the way for the Progressives they claim to advocate, the DNC is giving itself the option to hamstring populist candidates even more unfairly.

What the hell are the Democrats doing? Suicide by Derp?

And before anyone starts with the “but the Superdelegates can’t vote until the second round now! And you’re just a miserable bitch who’s never happy.”

Well, my dear Dem drones … just watch how fast the process will now include second-round voting. If the DNC was serious about rectifying the unbelievably undemocratic power of the Superdelegates, they would’ve abolished them completely. My miserable bitchiness knows bullshit when it sees it.

And no, I’m never happy. Happiness is for people who don’t follow politics.

The Democrats are also trying to “reform” caucus states by switching them to government primaries. I wonder if it has anything to do with their preferred method being more subject to tampering?

It’s much harder to rig a caucus. Let’s recall that Bernie Sanders won in every state that holds primary caucuses. Not a coincidence. And Hill’s Shills don’t like to caucus with the rabble. It cuts into time that could be spent at brunch or the yoga studio.

We can’t have those grassroots candidates pushing out our corporate-backed Neo-libs. DWS herself explained the Superdelegate process in just this manner.

And the DNC has also ruled that any potential candidate who doesn’t meet their nebulous, subjective definition of a Democrat can go pound sand.

That’s right. If they can dig up or point to anything a potential candidate has ever said or written that is even slightly critical of the Party, or their platform in any way deviates from the centrist Democrat comfort zone, their campaign is dead in the water.

So, in the end, the neoliberal third-way cartel can squash any Progressive candidate that might somehow manage to clear all their flaming hoops. They still get the final say, not the voters.

What could possibly go wrong? (See Election 2016).

Once again, this is nothing but window dressing intended to appease the less politically engaged and/or astute. The average voter will glance at the surface optics and believe the Democrats have seen the light, just as the DNC intended.

This transparent dog-and-pony show was a cynical attempt to market their draconian primary process in an actually-kinda-democratic light. Intended to give the impression the Party actually cares about a fair primary process where the voice of the People is tantamount.

No Supers! (In the first round!) Caucus Reform! (Because they are a bitch to rig!) We’re more inclusive! (Sign a loyalty oath or forgetting running on our ticket!)

What we “gained” from this travesty is worse than what we started with. It’s like returning an inferior quality product to the store and being offered an even crappier item in exchange. Hard pass. I want my full cash refund.

So, let’s recap: No real change to the Superdelegate system, an attempt to further silence grassroots candidates by ending (sorry, reforming) the caucus process, and stating unequivocally that a candidate must always fall in line with the Party, and those exact parameters are … mutable.

Why would voters think any of this fingers-crossed fuckery is a concession to the Party’s Progressive wing? Has anyone thought this through?

Screw this blatantly manipulative Blue Wave bullshit. I’m all about the Progressive Purge, and I have lots of company.

Because nothing has changed. The DNC shuffled the cards, but the deck remains the same as always.

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is a political junkie and history buff randomly alternating between bouts of crankiness and amusement while bearing witness to the Apocalypse. Come along!

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