There Is No Such Thing As A Progressive Democrat

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Pink, fluffy, progressive unicorns dancing on rainbows. Photo by PNGkit

Ah, the “Progressive Democrat.” Your classic contradiction in terms. It’s like Military Intelligence or Compassionate Conservative — they exist only in the minds of those claiming the title.

You have a better chance of seeing a pink fluffy unicorn dancing on rainbows than finding a genuinely Progressive Democrat.

Because Progressives do NOT condone:

austerity economics


systemic racism

or death by fossil fuels.

We DO support:

Medicare for All

Downsizing the military

Dismantling the police state

and saving the dying planet from the reckless disregard of the elites.

Seriously. Do we stutter? Photo by New York Times

Remember, by voting for the Blue Brain-dead Boob you are actively supporting (in theory anyway. Frankly, your vote doesn’t mean shit) everything he stands for (racism, sexism, uninvited hair-sniffing.) It doesn’t matter if you’re “holding your nose” while swallowing for Biden (ew, btw.)This does not make you a patriot, it makes you an idiot.

But again, no matter. The end result is the same.

I wonder about this a lot though. Knowing what you know about this man and his record (not everyone can claim ignorance as an excuse), how can you condone it with your supposedly meaningful (lol) vote? You guys rewarding him at the ballot box is precisely what the DNC counted on all along.

And why wouldn’t they? The VBNMW Cultists make it perfectly clear that they, and in their delusional world, you (after enough bullying), will eventually settle for whatever puddle of political pus the DNC presents to you.

Preemptive surrender and lesser-evilism ensure the Democratic Party that you’ll just shrug and still check their box even as they veer further and further right (since the 1990s in particular.)

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Dear God, they’re doing the facking Macarena Photo by Hello Giggles

There was a time when I could (or so I thought) understand the logic of the Dem-Enter strategy.


keep in mind, my understanding was that a hostile takeover of the Democratic Party infrastructure was the goal, not rolling over and playing dead like a bunch of sniveling, pathetic cowards.

Silly me.

Anyway, I didn’t see it as surrender. I saw it as playing the long game, in the same vein as building viable third parties. And some people still believe this, bless their hearts, even with everything that’s transpired since Shit Show 2016.

Never thought the Dems could top “The Attack of the Pantsuit Succubus,” but here we are.

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Meme by Bunker Boy

All this and COVID-19 too.

The bottom line is, the DNC doesn’t mind losing. They’re OK with playing “good cop” to the GOP’s “bad cop,” while passing practically every piece of Republican legislation thrown their way.

What’s Progressive about that? Absolutely nothing, that’s what.

No matter who wins The Battle of the Incoherent Pervs, the elites will be fine. We will not.

No Progressive would condone either Party’s “platform” of “We’re Not The Other Guys.” The GOP seems to understand that and rallies their base, but for some reason, neoliberals believe that if you’re not a card-carrying Republican, your vote is theirs by default.

No, it’s totally not. Now get your VBNMW whiny asses phone-banking and door-knocking instead of harassing REAL Progressives on the Left. We are not in your club, we will never be in your club, and, truth be told, most of us despise your club.

And finally, the Orange Anal Wart is not some comic book supervillain. He’s an imbecile, a clown, and the direct result of decades of bad policy, lesser-evilism, and run-away capitalism. I simply don’t know how to make it any clearer for you.

And anyway, if you were truly Progressive and not a neoliberal Fauxgressive fraud, it would be clear already.

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Written by

is a political junkie and history buff randomly alternating between bouts of crankiness and amusement while bearing witness to the Apocalypse. Come along!

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