Top Five Things I Don’t Want to Hear Ever, Ever Again

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Stop assaulting my eardrums! Photo by Getty Images

I’m thinking I’ll print these on a pamphlet, or tattoo them on my forehead, to spare myself oodles of future aggravation. Feel free to follow suit.

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Not me, and I’m at peace with that. Photo by Know Your Meme

No. I will be like Kathy, who has no problem hitting neo-liberals with the reality stick, repeatedly if necessary. Because I’m me, not Bernie, who’s interactional style is considerably different than my own. I understand Bernie’s reasoning and even respect his capacity for restraint. He’s a better person than I am in that regard.

But

This slavish adherence to his every utterance by some of his followers is “Life of Brian” ludicrous. I didn't support Hillary when he encouraged us to. Bernie had no choice per his agreement with the DNC. I, on the other hand, did have a choice and took my vote over to “Green”-er pastures, as was, and still is, my prerogative.

Yours too.

It’s about balance. You need a mixture of people with different approaches, some willing to turn the other cheek and others at the ready with a swift left hook if warranted. I am among the latter. Deal with it, and stop admonishing those who love and support Bernie but also have minds of their own.

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Photo by Just.po

If you truly believe HRC is out of the equation you’re simply not paying attention. Even though she’s decided to spare the nation another run at the presidency, she’s also assured us all she “not going anywhere.” Yep, she’s going to “advise” the 2020 Democratic presidential candidates.

I guess she’s going to school them all on losing an election even when you rig the primaries. That, of course, takes skill and careful planning. Her first lesson to her acolytes? How to deflect blame for your epic fail to Russia.

Of course you’re not gracefully bowing out and retiring, Hillary. You’re the herpes of politics. You’ll be right there, weaving your warmongering neo-lib web and using corporatist candidates as your marionettes, albeit from the cheap seats this time.

At this point, Clinton cannot be unaware of what a divisive factor she is in American politics and her party. And yet, she blithely continues to put her own desire for the limelight ahead of every other consideration, desperately fighting to remain relevant.

It would be sad and more than a little funny if she wasn't so dangerously sociopathic.

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I say! It appears Bernie Sanders isn’t a partisan hack!

No way! I had no idea! That’s some fancy surveillance techniques you got going on there!

No shit Bernie’s not a Democrat. It’s one of the main reasons for his mammoth and always-growing popularity. His allegiance is to the People, not a Party. This is very appealing to an involved and informed electorate. More and more voters are choosing their candidates like informed consumers and not partisan drones.

Although establishment Dems would rather lose the election than admit it, Bernie’s Independent affiliation is a huge boon for the Democratic Party. He attracts confirmed Berners and a butt-ton of Independent voters like a Progressive month to the Democratic Socialist flame.

If the Democrats were smart, they would capitalize on this instead of acting like whiny-ass bitch babies. But 2016 taught us one thing over anything else — Democrats as a whole are not smart.

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Yep. Any minute now! Photo by Colorado Peaks Politics

Every day we are subjected to breathless proclamations that St. Mueller is coming to save us all from the Orange Anal Wart any minute now, really.

Uh, gawd, spare me. Please.

This delusional behavior is eerily reminiscent of foaming-at-the-mouth fundies anxiously awaiting the End Times. “It’s gonna be this time for sure kids! Prepare to rapture! Wear clean underwear!”

But, lo and behold, you’re still stuck on terra firma, and Trump is still president.

Listen carefully. Nothing is going to happen to Trump. He’s safely ensconced in the Oval Office until Bernie trounces his orange ass in 2020. He is not going to jail. Nor is Hillary. Deal or die mad about it.

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How about a nice big glass of STFU? Photo by imgflip

Look, I’m going to keep this short and sweet, because I am heartily sick of this topic most of all.

Blaming Russia for Hillary’s loss is like blaming your epic, gnarly fart on the dog. Some people may be nice enough to nod and smile, but everybody knows you’re full of shit, in more ways than one.

Just. Stop. Thank you.

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Written by

is a political junkie and history buff randomly alternating between bouts of crankiness and amusement while bearing witness to the Apocalypse. Come along!

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