TOP TEN REASONS TRUMP’S PRESIDENCY IS FABULOUSLY ENTERTAINING
In no particular order.
10. Trump’s future Presidential library filled only with Jughead comic books and back issues of Playboy saves the nation money.
9. It’s never been been more fun to play circus music over a president’s speech while shooting Cheeze Doodle missiles at the screen.
8. The looks of metrosexual disdain from Justin “Do These Pants Make My Bottom Look Perky?” Trudeau.
7. Watching Trump devotees write signs for their rallies without opposable thumbs, then admiring their creative butchering of what we assume is the English language.
6. One of these days the Marmalade Moron will step off the plane, and that sad and sorry toupee is a-gonna go airborne. It is. Oh, it is.
5. Making graphs charting the growth of Trump’s butt, gut, and moobs is a fun and educational activity for the whole family.
4. Men (or lesbians, bisexuals, straight women who appreciate the female form, aliens from Planet I Heart Muff, etc., I’m not getting dragged into a P.C. debate) can ogle aging porn stars under the guise of following the news or reading the First Lady’s resume.
3. You can sleep well knowing Taiwanese six-year-olds earning five cents an hour making white sheets for Walmart have iron-clad job security.
2. Mocking the Blotchy Blob’s bombastic boasts like “I ended the Korean War/Mexico’s paying for the wall/I read this issue of Highlights magazine without Pence’s help” is an excellent respite from constant survival mode.
1. I’m telling ya. Watch that toupee. It’s going AWOL on the stairs of Air Force One in a desperate bid for freedom. Just wait.
Silver lining, people. Silver lining.