Top Ten Things Democrats Need to Come to Grips With Pronto

Obviously, I could easily come up with a gazillonty or so more points on this subject, but I’m pacing myself. We still have a loooooonng way to go.

1. A voter who isn’t a Republican is not a Democrat by default. I know this perplexes many in the Democratic Party, but most voters going into the 2020 election are Independent or unaffiliated. This means you have to actually earn our votes. Appealing to party “unity” only flies with party members. We are not party members. Keep reading this over and over until it starts to sink in.
2. Your constant preoccupation with Putin the Potato-Faced Fuckweasel is off-putting at best. So do us all a solid. Hop back in your time machine, set your coordinates for the 1950s, and fap over Joe McCarthy’s adorable Red-baiting antics.
3. Giving Hillary Clinton the mic is political suicide(I could make a bunch of sick Arkancide jokes right about here, but shall refrain. I’d like to remain alive.) Allowing her out of captivity to rep your Party is doing far more harm than good. Send her back to the woods where she belongs. (Just not my woods. Oh, hell no.)Humor
4. Hey Dems- don’t act like Bernie Sanders should be grateful to run on your Party’s ticket. You should be grateful for the chance to ride his coattails to the White House. Embrace reality.