Um, What Happened to Pushing Biden Left? Wasn’t That a Thing?

Same product, different packaging. Photo by Gamecock.

All any of us heard in the weeks leading up to the 2020 election was, “we need to dump Trump first, then we can push Biden left!” This empty assurance was how a disturbing number of Fauxgressives were outed. They voted for a man who was a complete POS, but arguably less a POS than that other POS.

We’ll push Biden left!” was repeated like a mantra by establishment Democrats posing as Progressives, a phenomenon that became endemic after Sniffy McGropey beat the Orange Anal Wart. (But that’s a whole other article.)

Naturally, those of us possessing critical thinking skills and a conscience knew this was complete horseshit. If you can’t push a candidate left when they’re trying to garner votes, why on earth would they acquiesce after they’ve won? Especially a Blue MAGA like Biden, who is the architect of so many policies that have led to increased systemic oppression.

You can’t even push this dude from the far-right to a little-less-far right. But you guys didn’t know and/or didn’t care. So what if Biden’s record and policies prove he’s at least as right-wing as Trump? Biden has that unmistakable veneer of top-notch liberal privilege on steroids that makes Fauxgressives all tingly.

And, after all, isn’t protecting delicate neolib sensibilities from reality the most important thing?

Yeah, he’ll just start leaning left now after over forty years of shitlibery. Why not.

The naivete bordering on delusion is strong with this bunch. Biden says millennials need to “give him a break.” At the same time, an entire generation wonders why they are denied advantages the Boomers have always taken for granted as their birthright.

The shitlibs don’t even blink.

He assures us that “poor kids are just as smart as white kids” and delivered this gem of a quote in 1977:

Unless we do something about this, my children are going to grow up in a jungle, the jungle being a racial jungle with tensions having built so high that it is going to explode at some point. We have got to make some move on this.

The fuck?

But what more can you expect from the dude who practically invented the school-to-prison pipeline for POC and the poor?

But wait! There’s more!

As the icing on the corporate cake, Biden has assured his Wall Street overlords that “nothing will change” during the Biden administration. Anyone in desperate need of healthcare or student loan forgiveness can go fuck themselves with a rusty clawhammer.

Shitlibs still take no issue.

Just what part of this leads anyone to believe that Biden can be pushed to the center, never mind the left?

His cabinet picks drive this point home again and again. But Blue MAGA has no fucks to give about that. They needn’t worry about such trifles because the dude with the cognitive abilities of a gnat has got their backs.

So it’s back to sleep for the beleaguered Pantsuit Brigade right on schedule. Even though we knew Becky and Todd would immediately return to brunch, it’s still WTF-worthy when it happens.

So, WTF.

They care not one whit about inconsequential matters like actual policy designed to help our people survive this pandemic. Their sole motivation and only goal was beating that gelatinous orange turd, period.

This is why these clueless dipshits need to sit out elections completely, especially the primaries. After all, you’re way too busy shopping online and pretending that the bottle of wine you’re glugging down daily isn’t problematic. Who has time to do a little research on their candidates' positions?

So why not let the dweeby plebs who actually practice due diligence handle the hard stuff like critical thinking? You’ve got enough to do between your mani/pedis and finding the perfect spot for your newest “Live, Laugh, Love” sign.

Calling out career criminals in the pocket of Wall Street isn’t an unwarranted purity test, Janet. It’s using platform-based standards for vetting rather than resorting to intellectually lazy auto-partisanship.

The Subaru Suburbanites don’t grasp that the impending societal collapse includes them. Can’t wait to see countless Karens all lined up demanding to speak to the manager of Fascism.

Try to remember this isn’t the House of Lords, Dems. You are not above scrutiny or criticism.

This is the very attitude that led us to Trump. His administration wasn’t a four-year fluke. It was decades in the making, the culmination of most people falling back on apathetic, lesser-evilism voting habits.

Wait until you see what Authoritarian Wetdream the GOP will roll out in 2024. You know, after the Dems inevitably lose both the House and Senate during the 2022 midterms. Just know that whoever it is, they’ll make Trump look positively cuddly by comparison.


is a political junkie and history buff randomly alternating between bouts of crankiness and amusement while bearing witness to the Apocalypse. Come along!

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