We’re all Just Third Class Passengers on the Titanic

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I want to push her skanky ass over the side every time. Photo by Tenor.com

Sick in bed the other evening, I curled up with my crackers, ginger ale and TV just as the movie “Titanic” began, so naturally I threw the clicker away and settled in to watch the ship sink. Again. Probably for the 30th time. I need help.

But anyway, as I was reciting along with the movie making everyone within earshot hate my guts it occurred to me, and not for the first time, just how closely the sinkings of the Titanic and the United States aligned. They both sank to the bottom thanks to two things — arrogance and greed.

And we’re not talking some Icarus flying too close to the sun with careless, youthful bravado here.

The fate of the Titanic and our country was orchestrated by the deliberate, mercenary, and foolhardy actions of just a few over-privileged jackasses. Greed on an epic scale cost the powerless innocents their lives, while most of the guilty elite went on to survive.

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Dude’s a twunt. For realsies. Photo by Matana Memo

For a little while anyway.

That’s the thing. When the shit hits the fan, the majority of us go down, and the very few left can no longer prosper after the crisis. The first class passengers couldn’t buy life, they just bought time.

And that’s the very essence of what we’re experiencing. The poor will suffer first and most of course, but eventually the water comes to claim all. Once you hit the iceberg, the ship will go down and no amount of bullying or bribery can change that.

Most passengers in the lifeboats got their spot thanks to their economic status and social standing. They may not have gone down with the ship — they froze to death in those boats instead. Is that such a better deal? Their money only stole them a negligible amount of time before they died a massively horrific death as well.

The elites and the oligarchs of today seem to forget that without those laboring below decks to keep the ship going — well, the ship doesn’t go. And if you sacrifice those third-class passengers by denying them lifeboats in 1912 or healthcare in 2018, there will be no-one left to make you your money.

The ships go down. The waves don’t care about your bank balance, stock portfolio, or Mrs. Astor’s 400. And even if you manage to escape immediate danger thanks to your privilege, your doom is still sealed.

You know why they all say “money can’t buy everything”? Because it’s true. Some people just need to find out the hard way.

And Rose? Move the fuck over. There’s plenty of room for two on that damn door. Entitled bitch.

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Oh Cal! You scamp!

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